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Anxiety and Insomnia: The Tag Team of My Nightmares
Am I counting sheep or reasons to live?
By conventional standards, I was an excellent student in school. Apart from getting brilliant grades, I also enjoyed several extracurricular activities like sports, music, writing, and art.
Although it felt idyllic back then, I was unknowingly becoming an anxious perfectionist, struggling to meet the expectations of practically everyone I knew. In retrospect, there were fairly alarming signs that should have warned me of what was happening in my head.
At 16, I broke down in tears some nights while studying fervently for days together and brushed it off as something common. Not such a big deal, right? I grew up in a society that places tremendous importance on examinations. With the mounting levels of pressure, it was quite reasonable.
But, kicking a wall in frustration after doing “badly” on a test? Yup. I broke my foot because I was vexed about losing a few grade points. As much as I used to debate my parents and relatives on how my worth is not determined by a few papers, I had no choice but to give in to the flawed system and do my best to not disappoint anyone.
